The Sense of Touch
Yet this all important sense is fast
disappearing as our main mode of communicating. The popularity of the internet
and social networking means that we are able to communicate with people that
are miles away from us in an instant, without any physical contact.
This is fast becoming the preferred
way to communicate and or meet new people. Yet this age is riddled with high
divorce rates and loveless marriages, suicides and mental illness in the form
of depression. In a time where we are able to pick our partners and marry for
love, we are incapable of forming honest and lasting relationships and
connections.
What is wrong with us? Are we such a
generation of take, take, take that we are completely unable to give to anyone
although we are so desperate to receive. There are also so many regulations
regarding how we should interact; with respect to appropriateness. This has
meant that an essential communication tool like touch has become more reserved
for the people closest to us. But what if you are not close to anyone?
Touch is one of the simplest ways in
which we can communicate our compassion and empathy to the full understanding
of the recipient without any exchange of words. This is disappearing from our
society and we wonder why we are raising a generation of selfish, narcissistic
and un-compassionate children.
We are constantly aware of our
personal space and guard it to the point of obsession. The minute a person
crosses what we consider the boundaries of our personal space we unleash a
tsunami on them to make sure that they understand never to cross them again. Unfortunately
in the age of rape and sexual harassment that we live in, this has become a
necessity. And in gaining the protection of our personal space we have lost the
ability to meaningfully connect with other human beings.
The suicides of famous and talented people
like the great Alexander McQueen, Amy Winehouse, Heath Ledger, and many others is
a reflection of the need for these meaningful connections. Because although
they were surrounded by people who love them, they still felt lost and alone
enough to take their lives. One of my favorite lines from the movie Crash says “We
pass each other daily trying not to touch one another and we end up missing
that touch so much that we crash into each other, just so we can feel
something.”
Is this the society that we have built
for ourselves, for our children? A society that cannot differentiate between a
compassionate and violating touch. Have we deprived ourselves of such connections
that any form of touch is acceptable, just so that we can feel alive for one
second even if afterwards we hate ourselves for letting it happen?
This happens a lot with our young
women. Sex is used as currency and these girls allow men to use them for their
pleasure, violating them, innocence lost. I don’t profess to have any of the
answers here, just more questions.
Ask yourself this though, when was
the last time you looked into someone’s eyes and gave them a sincere hug and
meant nothing except comfort and compassion. I miss that and I guess before I
start pointing fingers I need to also practice what I preach because I honestly
cannot remember the last time I did.
Ashford & Simpson advocate touch
in their song Reach out and touch somebody’s hand & make this world a
better place, if you can. I do believe in the healing power of the human touch.
And I do believe that this should not only be limited to our immediate families
and children. There is nothing wrong in having compassion and showing
compassion for another human being. It is the way of nature.
More than 90% of all cultures of the
world greet using the sense of touch. Think about it, the one thing that
terminally ill patients crave is touch; premature babies also need it although
their skin is paper thin. The loving touch from the mother goes a long way
towards healing and raising a happy and healthy child.
I know that I’m one of those people that demand their
personal space. And I’ve gotten so used to not touching that I can't even
remember the last time I touched just for touch’s sake. Think about the effect
that you can have on someone's life just by paying attention to how you
communicate through touch, on your life and that of your loved ones. I meet new
people all the time in my line of work and I have seen the effect of the power
of touch. Absolutely nothing on this earth bring two people closer to each
other than a meaningful touch that says, I’m sorry, I forgive you, I
understand, I’m here for you
Consider using touch as a form of
communication for family members and loved ones. Without using words, try using
touch to communicate love, gratitude, forgiveness, or other positive emotions. Imagine
that you can feel the healing properties of touch each time you come in contact
with a loved one. Feel your heart rate go down and relaxation go up. Notice the
effect your touch has on others. Open yourself to touch and notice the times
when it is not welcome. What are the places on your body that you feel
uncomfortable about? Whose touch do you avoid? Are there ways to use touch to
heal and bring you closer together with the people you love?
Perhaps the most powerful way to
use touch is to bring it to those who are touch deprived. On the other hand, in
today’s hi-tech, low-touch world, where social connections are virtual and
friends are further away, maybe that applies to all of us. Maybe we are all
becoming “untouchables.” But by touching others, we may just be able to heal
ourselves.
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