So your man's best friend is a woman...

Can a purely platonic relationship between a heterosexual man and a heterosexual woman really exist or does sex always get in the way? I would love to be able to answer that with an emphatic yes answer but experience has shown me otherwise.

I'm one of those women who have always found it easier to make friends with men rather than women. Don't get me wrong I have female friends and enjoy the interactions but I have always preferred the male ones over the female ones. I grew up a tomboy which might explain a lot but one of the reasons why I enjoy hanging out with guys is that it's less about talk and more about the activity. Female relationships can be exhausting, all we do is talk, talk, talk; even when we are doing an activity we do it just to get to the talk.

I'm naturally a good listener and because of this I always end up being the agony auntie for my girlfriends. It's exhausting when people only pick up the phone to call you when they need advice and with women that's often; therefore I keep my female interaction to a minimum. 

Now from a young age to my varsity days I've had a barrage of male friends which has since dwindled over the years. Mainly through most of them getting married or having a significant other that considers you a threat. Since I refuse acquire new female friendships this is normally viewed negatively and honestly I don't blame them at all. 

The challenge with befriending your male friend's latest acquisition is that they normally start off by putting you through a series of tests. First thing they will want to establish is whether or not you've had sex and she will not be direct about it! She will start off by telling you about their sex life and sexual exploits so as to gauge your reaction thinking that from it she will be able to tell whether the two of you have done the deed or not. If you pass that test then you are allowed into the inner workings of their relationship and you are expected to fully endorse her campaign to become the Mrs. If you get through that one with flying colours then you have a friend for life and you get to keep your friendship with your mate. You will be welcomed in their home and she will have no issues with you whatsoever.

I never survive the first test. I'm sorry ladies but I do not want to hear about your sexual exploits with my best friend there are just some things that you should keep to yourself. And what am I supposed to think if you tell me how great he is in the sack, don't you think I'm going to get just a little curious and go exploring. Now whose to blame here, me for exploring or you for planting the seed? Now I draw the line at you wanting me to join your damn campaign to put a ring on your finger. I have my own campaign with my own boyfriend that I am busy with thank you very much. Now she interprets my keeping my distance as me not liking her and I'm immediately put into the threat box. And the minute they are hitched, lady you are out the door. Suddenly you are persona non-grata because your mate is trying to keep the peace in his house.

There is always the assumption that any platonic relationship between men and women has some sexual tension involved. Well the truth of the matter is that it does. Whether we like to admit it or not, there is always a bit of sexual tension whether it's one sided or returned. So ladies you're not paranoid and research has shown that more than a whopping 64% of these friendships have had sex at some point or another.

This is really inevitable because everything from our social culture to media and entertainment communicates the message that the best marriages and relationships start out as friendships. This on the other hand really is unfair on the 36% that is just in it for the friendship. But then again just because the 36% has never had sex does not necessarily mean that there is no sexual tension. Any close friendship between a man and a woman inevitably turns into one that is based on communication. The man gets a chance to get the female perspective and vice-versa. Now when you share intimate information with someone, letting them know your dreams and aspirations there is no way that you will not end up thinking maybe. I know I've had some cases where although we did not cross the line we had some close calls.

But viewing this relationship as a threat is really not the answer as well because we live in an age where men and women interact more than ever. Men are a lot more in touch with their feminine sides and therefore interact with women in the workplace and in other areas of their lives. So are you going to spend the rest of your life trying to weed out all his female interactions in the name of trying to prevent the unknown? Sometimes as women we really need to exhale and let go because regardless of the preventative measures you try to take; regardless of the number of deemed threats you try and eliminate; what will happen, will happen. And really ladies it's not about you stopping him from doing it but about him valuing and respecting what he has with you enough to not go there.